7:40 PM

hello, i'm back. i have alot of things to say. alot alot. i don't think i'm able to write all of them in words. but i just want to relieve my stress.

blogging may seem real and sincere. but to me, i feel that it can actually hide others' ppl feelings instead. WHY? reason: it is a fact that everyone can have access to the blog. So unintentionally, ppl may hide their feelings, afraid that others might misintepret or even comment negatively. As a reason, what's the point of blogging? haa. and here i'm blogging and writing abt what i feel. maybe right now as i'm typing, i'm hidden something.

i don understand why things turn out this way. i feel that i'm not a good person. From what ppl see : i'm easily agitated. i don want ppl to feel this way. i want to change. i want ppl to protect me. i don want ppl to think that i'm fierce and i'm able to protect myself against any harm. AM i being abit demanding? everytime i tell myself, please cindy think before u speak. but i'm just to used to it. maybe being frank is not a good thing. (too frank) one may just turn others off by being too straight-forward. agitated fierce frank........ haix. but i don want to hide my feelings... okok. i have to learn.

ya i agree everyday is a learning process for me. i'm still growing and learning....

the match we watched together was exciting and fun. but am i too far?

written, CINDY