9:47 PM

finally i'm back again..
i felt so lost without computer.
it seemed like ages since i online.
i got the result slip today.
i failed.
surprised?
i failed the overall because i din passed my GP..
ok.
i admitted defeat.
nothing more to say.
i cant be that sad.
but it's just unfair.
unfair why i must have that result for my GP.
i cant go around complaining "oh i'm sad. i failed. i cant believe i fail my GP"
hee..
every other ppl will be upset.
and i cant possibly go around grumbling abt my poor results.

sometimes i'm really tired.
tired of everything.
i cant help it.
today..
i'm super duper tired.
exhausted..
dance, schoolwork, PW and everything.

usually i only look forward to the tea session.
hahax.
i can eat drink gossip chit chat and the most importantly get schoolwork off my mind for a while.

i felt my life revolving without me knowing.
and i found it hard to accept it.
i questioned myself over and over again.
reminded myself not to fool around and stay focus.
but i just cant.
the study mood is not there.
i forced myself.

i want to dash into the rain when there is a heavy downpour.
i want it to wash away my troubles.
i want my tears to flow uncontrollably without anyone knowing.
i want it badly.
desperately in need.

i'm always so clumsy.
so careless.
i want to be more careful but it's difficult.
but i will try..

there's once i have difficulty sleeping.
that's serious.
who wil have difficulty sleeping?
sleeping is my only time to close my eyes.
i tossed and turned.
so stupid.
i cant sleep.
i did some thinking...
conclusion:
maybe i'm just too stressed up. hahax.

i don have confidence of doing well in promos.
really. i felt there's an invisible hurdle.
blocking me.
disallowing me to score well. to do well in my promos.
i need to "cyco" myself.
i have to move on and walk out of the shadows.
shadows of the dark and evil.

why there's ppl who is so damn bloody free.?
interfere my life.
anyway who cares abt him.
a liar?
a sweet-talker?
a cheater/conner?
a person without feelings?
i have seen his true colour.
Enough.
and it shall be ENOUGH.
Want to disturb my life?
intrude to my privacy?
think twice k.
DREAM ON.
i advise u not to even think of that let alone sending those "i'm in a plight" messages.
cos it wont help. i wont pity u.
no more.
i repeat NOT AT ALL.

written, CINDY