2:58 PM

sometimes she felt that she had lost all her abilities
lost her sense of direction,she donno wat she is thinking now...
some thing just doesnt make sense to her at all..
she has nothing to say, maybe is just donno wat to say..
is she asking too much..? or expecting too much..?
she needs a break.. whether is it now or later.. can she..?
no.. she cant.. there is not ever enough time for her to think properly..
maybe.. she donno..
whatever she does. or almost everything..
she finds it so hard to handle or control..
is she too wilful.. too stubborn...?
if she wants to wish for the better.. is it wrong..?
she donno.. she does not know wat is goin on actually..
maybe she doesnt need to know..
basically it is hurting to her..
painful for her to know tat she is in need of air to breathe
sadding for her to know that she is not in it..
funny that is.. she doesnt think she has done a good job..
she doesnt think she has put in the best..
never..? or maybe..?
she could not fathom out what others think..
pondering that questions had made her mood swings..
it is difficult and tough to hold on to something so shaking..
but she knows she has someone to count on..
a someone not related to her at all..
although that someone is nothing or did lied to her many times..
to her,it doesnt matter at all..
yes.. not at all..
but sometimes she just could not find that someone..
to ease her pain, to stop her misery..
she find that that someone is drifting apart from her..
why..?
maybe it is the way of life..
she doesnt know..
the way of life..???? is it so hard to understand..
to use words to explain..?
she did not blame anyone.. maybe she should.. but she never..
pushing all the responsibilities to herself..
it is really a hindrance to her..
a burden, a heavy load to her
but can she put them down and push them all away..
no.. she cant..
she never once did..
cos she is scared.. scared of losing...
losing someone precious.. significant to her..
afraid of losing them all..
what does tat mean..?
nothing much... wat more can she say..
she can be crying in the corner of her room..
and no one knows...
words echoed in her room..
tears will just streaked down her cheeks..
leaving her alone..
in the darkness.. in the world of her own...
she does not wan to bother anyone..
she is just someone with troubles..
yes.. troubles piled on her..
she is laden with doubts.. with problems..
she has been on trot all day..
maybe is all week.. or even all years..
where is her only hope..?

wat can i say..? 

written, CINDY